Confessions of a Death Eater
by Lazarus Risen
Summary: Dan Caldwell, a Death-Eater, learns the consequences of his actions and learns to value human life...okay maybe not. *updates posted on why I haven't updated this in a while...*
1. Chapter 1 (sorry, no title for the chapt...

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter _or_ the quotes from Wayne's World.

Confessions of a Death-eater

Chapter 1

       "I'd never done a crazy thing in my life before that night. Why is it, that when a man kills another man in battle it's called heroic but when a man kills another man in the heat of passion it's called murder?"

-Wayne's World

       Sergeant Dan Caldwell was shaking with sweat. Today was the day that Lord Voldemort had asked him to kill one of the Bones-Madam Bone (pronounced like you're saying Bad to the Bone). He had loved Madam Sestina Bone like a sister when he had gone to Hogwarts himself. He didn't want to kill her. But, he had no choice. It was either that or the fiery hell that was Lord Voldemort's very own slammer.

       Yes, HE had his own prison for the Death-eaters that disobeyed him but were valuable Death eaters that could not be killed (A/N: Wow, what a run-on sentence!) Dan definitely didn't want to go there. He had visited one of his friends there. There were fire-spitting demons everywhere; screams filled the room as the monsters burned them…but not enough to kill them. The Dark Lord visited those that had been in there quite some time, and tortured them until they had learned their lesson. Then they were free to come back.

       No, sir, Dan definitely did NOT want to go there as a prisoner. But he had to make one stop before the journey to torture the Bones for information.

       He went into Godric's Hollow to visit his third cousin, Lily. She was married to James Potter and they recently had had a son named Harry. Harry was a very cute baby, and when Dan held Harry in his arms and watched him smile at him, he wished for a fleeting instant that he had his own child.

       He knocked on the door. He waited for a little while, but no one answered. The tried to open the door, but he had barely touched it when it inched open.

       He went inside and found nothing but ruins. Bits of parchment here and there, and some baby toys left on the ground. It looked like they had fled.

       But why did they need to run off? thought Dan to himself as he entered Harry's bedroom. The crib was still there. He heard a little bit of soft baby laughter and a mother singing a lullaby.

       OK, this is getting sort of freaky!!! he thought, scratching his head and exiting. The whispers echoed around the room as he headed for the door, and he stopped dead in his tracks as he listened to James.

       "Remus, I assure you, Voldemort will not find us," said James voice. But where was James? Dan entered the dining room and saw Remus Lupin facing a blank space. Lupin saw him and poked the air. James' voice hissed "Get out, Dan! I know what you're up to and you all want to kill us! GET OUT AND LEAVE MY FAMILY ALONE!!!!" He felt something invisible push him out the door.

       "B-but…" he stuttered, "I didn't know…I swear I didn't know…"

       But James was evidently not listening, because the door slammed in Caldwell's face.

       Dan, taken aback, headed off to the Bones house.

* * * *

       Dan slouched back home. When the Bones didn't tell him information, even under the Imperius Curse, he was forced to kill them. He never felt worse in his life, feeling bad about killing them. He was a Death-Eater, for crying out loud! He shouldn't feel sympathy toward anyone!!!!!

       He sighed as fell facedown on his bed. Nothing was going right.


	2. Chapter 2-The Meeting

Chapter 2 of Confessions of a Death-Eater

The Meeting

A/N: How come you people aren't reviewing? Yeah, I know the first chapter is boring, but it gets more exciting! Really! Anyways, if one person or more reviews this chapter I will write more. If you people don't review, I'm just going to stop the story! Thank you, and enjoy.

   Dan stumbled upon a rock as he found his way to Voldemort's current hideout. The wind hit his cheek. It felt like cold steel against his skin. The rain splattered alongside his face. It was freezing out, and Dan shivered. Finally, he had reached Voldemort's lair, and he went inside and shut the door.

   "Ah, Caldwell," said an icy voice. Dan turned to his right and saw a large armchair. It, obviously, held Voldemort. "My faithful Death-Eater. Was the journey well? Did you get any information from the Bones?"

   "Um, well, that's where I had trouble, Your Darkness," said Dan, rubbing his shoulder.

   "What do you mean?" asked Voldemort angrily.

   "Well, they wouldn't tell me any information, sir," Dan whispered, "So I…uh…had to kill them, my Lord."

   "Ah, well," sighed Voldemort, rising from his seat. "At least you killed them. Better to dispose than to let them live. Did…did you torture them for information?" he asked, facing Dan.

   "Yes, My Lord," said Dan, startling himself by sounding so firm when he was so unsure and nervous. "They wouldn't tell. Not a single thing. Apparently, they can fight the Crutacius Curse." (A/N: Is Crutacious spelled right?)

   "This is not good news, Caldwell," hissed Voldemort "You know this, correct?"

   "Yes, Your Darkness," said Caldwell, bowing low. He stood up tall again, running his hand through his auburn hair. "I have no doubt whatsoever that we _will_ get information."

   "Good," said Voldemort. "We shall have to pack immediately. But wait…" He paused. "May I use your Mark to call the others?"

   "Yeah…sure!" said Dan, feeling proud. Only the best Death-Eaters were allowed this high honor. "But My Lord, before you do this, may I ask you a question?"

   "Certainly," said the Dark Lord.

   "Your Darkness," said Dan, starting to pace around the armchair. "I went to my third cousin, Lily Potter's house today, and…"

   "Excellent!" interrupted Voldemort. "Did you kill them?"

   "See, that's what I wanted to ask you," said Dan, and stopped pacing. "You see, I had no idea we were to kill the Potters. The Potters are like…practically my family, as I have no more."

   "Then perhaps you shall get a girlfriend, Dan," shouted Voldemort, stepping evilly toward Dan. "For as long you are one of my Death-Eaters, you will _not_ be associated with anyone from the other side! Do you understand me? Do you?"

   "Yes, My Lord," murmured Dan, and backed away fearfully.

   "Very well," said Voldemort. "Now, let me…"

   Dan extended his arm. While Voldemort touched the Mark, all Dan could think about was how his life was ruined. How could he betray his only family like that? Wait! If he wanted to kill the Potter's, then that meant…

   "My Lord!" shouted Dan suddenly. "Do you…do you wish to kill the young Harry Potter as well?"

   "Why, yes," said Voldemort, looking amused. "In fact, he is the reason I am killing the entire family."

   Dan stared at him in shock. He couldn't kill an innocent baby! A child! Adults and teenagers were one thing, but a child?

   "I have to go!" he gasped, and ran to the door and grabbed his raincoat. He raced outside and darted as fast as he could to Godric's Hollow.

A/N: So how was that? You like it now? Please review, or this story shall never be continued!     


	3. Chapter 3- Oranges-They Can Change Your ...

Chapter 3

Oranges-They Can Change Your Life

   Dan opened the door to the Potters' house. He still couldn't see anyone inside, but heard soft whispering. Then he heard James' angry voice again.

   "I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" he shouted. Dan could feel bits of spit on his shoulder.

   "I didn't know! I just found out! I'm sorry!" bawled Dan.

   "I always knew you were Death-Eater material!" yelled back James. "Always mysterious, you were! I never should have trusted you to come in our home!"

   "James!" said Lily "Calm down! I'm sure Dan has an explanation…"

   "FOR WHY HE WANTS TO KILL US?" bellowed James. Dan could just imagine James with gritted teeth, his foot digging into the carpet.

   "I never wanted to kill you," whispered Dan, shuffling his feet. "I just found out Voldemort's evil plot. But I am no longer a Death-Eater." Suddenly, Dan saw James and Lily standing before him.

   "Can you see us now?" asked Lily softly.

   "Yeah," said Dan in amazement. "Yeah, I can see you…"

   "Good," said Lily. Then she turned to her husband.

"See? He's not a Death-Eater anymore if he could see us!"

   "He could just be PRETENDING to see us!" said James, clenching his fists and digging his feet harder into the rug.

   "Dan," said Lily, turning back to him. "What am I doing now?" She made her eyebrows go into an arch and moved her arms like a robot.

   "Putting your eyebrows into an arch and moving your arms like a robot," Dan said firmly. James finally looked like he believed him.

   "Welcome to the good side." said James.

   "Dan," said Lily "We need some oranges for Harry. Can you go to Diagon Alley and get some for us? The fireplace is right next to the…wall."

   "Sure," said Dan, grinning. He grabbed some Floo Powder and shouted "DIAGON ALLEY!" and disappeared.

   Dan had come back after several hours, because the fireplace, for some reason, wasn't working, and he couldn't Apparate, so he had had to take the Knight Bus.

   As Dan was walking up the street, he saw the house in ruins.

   "Oh my god!" he said, and ran over to the house, bags full of oranges and all.

   When he got there, he saw Sirius Black, James best friend, standing there in shock. The Potters were nowhere to be seen. Little Harry was gone. Were they all dead? Or had they escaped?

   Dan ran up to Sirius and asked him "What happened? Are they all right? Where's Harry? WHERE ARE THEY?"

   "Lily and James are dead," whispered Sirius.

   "_Oh my god_," breathed Dan. Then he gathered up his courage and asked Sirius "Where's Harry? Is he OK? I mean, you're the godfather, and all."

   "Harry was taken by Hagrid to give to Dumbledore to give to his aunt and uncle," said Sirius.

   "Petunia and Vernon! How could they do that to the poor boy!" said Dan before thinking. Then he asked Sirius what had happened.

   "Voldemort came here. He killed James, and then he killed Lily. He tried to kill Harry too. But he couldn't do it. The curse had rebounded on Voldemort, and Voldemort is now on the run, reduced to something barely alive. Harry is alive, and Voldemort has been conquered. Harry is now a hero. He now has a lightning bolt scar on his forehead." Sirus breathed in deeply.

   "But why did the curse rebound?" asked Dan, clutching the oranges.

   "Nobody knows," said Sirius. He saw the bag of oranges and asked, "Can I have one?"

   "S-sure," stuttered Dan, and handed one to Sirius.

   "It's amazing," he thought to himself as Sirius was trying to peel the skin off the orange. "How a man's life can change so quickly…and so fast."

 A/N: That's not the end! Next chapter we will fast-forward ten years!


	4. Flash forward- 10 years ahead.

Chapter 4

Flash-Forward

10 years ahead…

"It's like people just do things for the money. And that's really sad."

-_Wayne's World_

   Dan walked along the sidewalk, his hands in his pockets. Ever since he went off to live as a Muggle his life had been miserable. He had chosen to live as a Muggle himself, considering he thought he could've prevented the Potter's death. Dan hoped that wherever Harry was, he was happy. Dan certainly hoped Harry had found a way to escape from the Dursleys. Dan knew what those people were like, and it made him ill just to think about the kind of treatment they were giving Harry-if he was still there.

   Dan dragged himself to a local diner and slumped into a vacant booth. How in the world had he expected life to be fine while he lived as a Muggle? He couldn't do ANYTHING he was accustomed to. He missed the Chocolate Frogs…

   Dan also knew that Voldemort could be looking for him and kill him at any moment. His old friend Snape, he knew, was no longer a Death-Eater either, and _he_ hadn't been killed, but Dan still worried. Besides, Snape was a double agent. Dear old Voldemort thought he was still a Death-Eater, but he wasn't.

   After a very disgusting lunch (courtesy of tuna melt), Dan decided to go look for a job. Right now, he was just freeloader, but Dan wanted a job now, so he decided to go into a shop and find out if he was needed there.

   Dan entered the shop and saw a very large boy with blonde hair with his bony mother. The mother looked oddly like Lily's sister, Petunia. Dan walked up to the counter when he saw…he rubbed his eyes, not believing it…he saw _Harry_.

   Of course, Dan couldn't be entirely sure it was truly Harry, but the boy had a striking resemblance to James and had Lily's eyes. Yes, it was Harry, no denying it. Dan started toward him when he decided it was best not to talk to him, because Petunia kept barking at Harry to stay out of the way. Dan felt a hot surge of anger and clutched his fists in rage. Evidently, Harry had not found a way to escape the horrible, dreadful Dursleys.

   Dan walked up to the counter and asked the rather attractive saleslady if there was a position open. 

   "Sure," said the saleslady. Dan looked at her nametag and saw that it said MIRANDA. "You can sort the underwear." Miranda pointed to a large pile of an assortment of underwear-panties, boxers, briefs, French cuts.

   Dan sighed and signed the application form. He trudged over to the mountain of underwear and started sorting it into smaller piles.

   The things Dan would do for money…

A/N: OK, I know this is a short chapter, but I'm not in a good mood! OK, bye. (walks to bathroom, shaking her head and singing "Time After Time" to no one in particular)  


	5. Letter from Snape

Confessions of a Death-Eater

Chapter 5

Letter from Snape

A/N: After a demand from Chimbo Baggins that I MUST write another chapter, here it is…chapter 5. It's not that I wasn't getting enough reviews. It was that I had run out of ideas…but now I just had a brilliant one and here I am, typing up the fifth chapter. TA-DA! And to X…did you mean that in a good way or a bad way? If it was a bad way…yaaay I've had my first flame! Oh, and guess what? I've downloaded new Harry Potter fonts, which consists of Lumos and Harry P!!! Weee! I'm hungry…

"Why does this guy have contracts? Did you see the Twilight Zone when the guy signed the contract, and they cut off his tongue, and it never died, it just grew and pulsated and gave birth to baby tongues? Pretty cool, huh? *holds up pen*I've got to go."

-Wayne's World

After a hard day's work at the department store, Dan headed to his Muggle friend Sasha's house and collapsed onto the couch.

        _Boy, what a day_ Dan thought to himself as he switched on the TV. Sasha came strolling into the room and turned off the TV.

        "That is _it_, Dan" she said. "I'm sick and tired of you moping around here! Why don't you go and get a job, like most people?"said Sasha

        "I _did_ get a job, Sasha," sighed Dan. 

        "Oh," said Sasha, and turned on the TV. Suddenly, a giant eagle owl came into the living room. It dropped a letter in front of Dan, and he caught it and read it by instinct. Sasha was screaming and dialing up the exterminator.

        "Sasha! It's all right!!!!" screamed Dan and wrestled her to put down the phone. When she finally hung up, Dan sat back on the couch and read his letter from Snape.

Dear Dan,

            It's been so long since I've seen you. How're things going? I understand you've made yourself a Muggle. Dan, the Potters' death wasn't your fault. Don't go blaming yourself for it. There's nothing you could've done. Voldemort would've just killed you too.

            Anybob,

"_Anybob_?" asked Dan out loud. "Snape doesn't say ANYBOB!" Dan continued to read the letter anyway.

            Anybob, the reason I am contacting you now is because I believe all of us ex-Death Eaters are in mortal peril once again. I have reason to believe that a teacher at Hogwarts has been secretly contacting Voldemort all year and trying to get the Sorcerer's Stone so Voldemort could return to power again. We must form an alliance with our old buddies, Dave, Bill, Bob, and Bill Bob Esquire, to get rid of Voldemort once and for all!

            Plus I would like to form a band with all of you.

            Please contact me, Dan and let me know if you would like to join my alliance/band. The fate of the world (and music) is in our hands!

Yours truly,

Severus Snape

P.S. If you say yes, please read the contract I have enclosed. Good day.

            Dan felt like bursting out laughing. The alliance part he could see Snape doing, but a _band_? That was just pure insane!

            He loved it.

            Dan opened up the contract, skimmed through it, and signed it. Instantly Snape ppeared right in front of him.

            "Hurray, Dan!" shouted Snape dully, throwing confetti unenthusiastically into the air. "You have just joined the alliance/band named Swords on a Doorknob."

            "Swords on a Doorknob?" grinned Dan. "What kind of weird name is that?"

            "Don't blame me," glared Snape. "Bill Bob Esquire came up with it."

            "So, when do we start…er…_practicing?_" asked Dan. Sasha was staring at Snape interestedly. Snape gave her an uneasy look, and then turned back to Dan.

            "We start practicing…NOW!" Snape snapped his fingers, and suddenly Dan was at Hogwarts.

            " I thought you couldn't Apparate _or_ Disapparate within Hogwarts grounds." Dan marveled as they both trekked up to the castle.

            "That's just the thing," smirked Snape. "We're not technically IN Hogwarts grounds. We're _just_ outside of it."

            When they finally got down to Snape's quarters on the third floor, Dan saw the rest of the gang: Dave with his great big shaggy beard and hippie glasses, Bill with his blonde gelled back hair, Bob with his brown messy hair that his fingers constantly ran through, and Bill Bob Esquire, with his green dyed hair and an insane look upon his face.

            "Hey, Dan," said Bill coolly, nodding his head sharply.

            "Peace," said Dave, making the traditional peace sign with his fingers.

            "Dude," said Bob, patting his hair to make it stay flat. It wasn't working.

            "Yo!" shouted Bill Bob Esquire, jumping up and down "I AM HYPER!"

            "Welcome to Swords on a Doorknob, Dan," said Snape, staring at Bill Bob Esquire, who was still jumping up and down like a lunatic (which he was, in case you haven't figured that out yet).

            Dan smiled. This was going to be one fun year…

A/N: I think you might've guessed I decided to add a little comic relief into this. Beware Bill Bob Esquire. He will drive you (and Dan) crazy. Well, review. (walks off)


	6. Again, no title...

Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I own none of the Creed songs. I just thought it might be funny if Snape sang them…

       "I feel voices all around me…" sang Snape. Dan grinned to himself while he played the drums. Snape sounded exactly like that Muggle singer, Scott Steppe.

       Bill Bob Esquire was playing the guitar like a professional, Dave was doing excellent on the keyboards, Bob was doing great on the guitar, and Bill was standing on the stage. They had all decided that Bill would make a better manager than an actual player.

       Once they had finished playing Bullets, Bill got up from his seat and applauded enthusiastically.

       "That was great you guys! You were out of this world Severus!" shouted Bill.

       "Radical," replied Dave, doing the peace sign again.

       "Thanks," grunted Snape.

       "What's wrong?" asked Dan, getting up and walking towards Snape.

       "I think we should change our band/alliance name," said Snape.

       "NOOOOO!" shouted Bill Bob Esquire, jumping and down. "YOU CAN'T!!!!"

       "I think…" said Snape slowly. He hesitated, took a deep breath and said "Well, since we might perform for Hogwarts one day and I don't want the students or the staff to know who I am or who you guys are, we should put on our old Death Eater cloaks and call ourselves the Hooded Men."

       Dan nodded "Sounds good to me."

       "Me too," said Bob.

       "Radical idea, Sev," said Dave.

       "Yep," said Bill, nodding his head.

       All of them turned their heads towards Esquire, and after a couple of minutes Esquire nodded his head.

       "I'm in," said Esquire.

       "So, it's settled," said Snape. "We are now the Hooded Men."

       "THE HOODED MEN!" they all shouted. 

       Dan smiled. He hadn't had this much fun in years. It was good to be back with the boys.

A/N: Wow! Another short chapter. But I promise you, this will be one heck of a long story. Perhaps even as long as the Goblet of Fire. I have a storm of ideas. 


	7. Quick LetterUpdates from Chaos Central

Quick Letter/Update from Chaos Central…

Dear Readers,

Just a quick note, I probably won't be updating many of my stories for a quite awhile. I'm currently working on this one story that is going to consume all of my time that I might or might not type up and post on ff.net. It's called A Potional Mind (which is not even a word, I know) and it's basically a biography of Snape. THEN I'm going to be working on Snape the Ballet Dancer, which is going to be in script style, because it's supposed to be either a play or movie that my friends might perform together, so…well, enjoy my chapters while you can. THEN there's going to be The Nutty Potions Professor, THEN, Dude, Where's My Wand, THEN, I'm going to finish this and write the sequel, Dan and Snape Strike Back, and also I'm going to try and finish Smith 3000, then write the fourth one of that, which is going to be called Sort of, then the last one in the Smith series, which will be titled Reunion, so, don't expect updates in:

Voldemort's Plans

Run Away (actually, I might continue this)

Harry Potter and Sirius' Mom

Harry Potter and the Purple Blotches

HP Characters Gone Mad! (which I was thinking about ending anyway)

OK, so sorry Chimbo Baggins, this story probably isn't going to be updated for a while. I am so sorry! I'll try to get this right after Snape the Ballet Dancer, but it's going to be difficult.

Happy trails!

Yours truly,

Jackie, a.k.a. Me123


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